One thought from me:

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Last week we were lucky enough to visit New South Wales to see our family there who, because of the pandemic and travel restrictions, we've been separated from for most of the last two years.

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On a walk, one afternoon, while we were there, I noticed my three-year-old niece looking closely at us. I suspect that she was curious as to how we had suddenly appeared again as real people after being images on a screen for so long.

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'Have I ever been to your house?' she said to my daughter Phoebe suddenly.

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'Not really,' Phoebe answered, 'only once when you were a baby in your Mum's tummy.'

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My niece smiled then. 'You're right' she said, 'When I was a baby I did live in my Mummy's tummy. Then I was born, and do you know what?' She paused as if checking we were all listening.

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Then she said, 'I was a beautiful baby.'

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This delightful interaction reminded me that the words we say about our children are important. The stories we tell matter. The way we describe them, address them, talk about them with others all contributes to who they become and how they see themselves in the world.

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As in all relationships, it's easy to fall into the habit of using most of our words to give instructions or to criticise. Instead, we should remember to use our words to demonstrate our love and our belief in our children. Because our words matter.

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A quote from someone else:

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What we say about our children is even more important than what we say to them.

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- Hal Runkle, in his book Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool​

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First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see.

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- Brené Brown, in the article Bre​né Brown: Be the adult you want your children to be.​

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And a few things I think you will love:

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Here are some phrases I'm trying to remember to say to my kids this week,

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Thank you for being so helpful.

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You're a great friend.

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I appreciate the way you did that.

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I admire how hard you are working on this.

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I love to listen to you sing.

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In his book Promise Me, Dad, Joe Biden tells a story about coming home after being bullied at school for his stutter. His Mum responded by telling Biden, who she called 'Joey', something that has stayed with him ever since. She said, 'Bravery resides in every heart and yours is fierce and strong.'

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May our words speak life and hope and courage to the people we love in a similar way.

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Thanks for reading.

As always,

I'm grateful you're here.

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Hannah Alexander x

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Each week, I share 1. A thought from me,

2. A quote from someone else and 3. Some things I hope you'll like.

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